Iowa Corn 300 Preview: Edibles Edition

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Iowa’s known for corn, hogs, related edibles and frankly little else. It’s the home of has been IndyCar blogger Bill Zahren, aka “Pressdog^TM,” as well as the Iowa Caucuses whatever those are. Apparently it’s some sort of beauty pageant for the rather homely political class, proving the old dictum that politics is celebrity for ugly people. Iowa sounds like it’s got a lot going for it, doesn’t it? We kid, we kid. Seriously, Saturday night should prove to be a tasty treat for fans of artistry on wheels.

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The best part of the entire god-forsaken state is Iowa Speedway, a 7/8s mile oval located east of Des Moines in the tiny town of Newton. Thank you, Rusty Wallace. Apparently it’s the one track in the country that can handle both an IndyCar race AND a certain other series race within a few weeks of each other. Now THAT’s tasty. It must be all that gooey corn pollen that makes this possible in the Hawkeye state. Or perhaps it’s the intense, wafting smell of hog shit (aka “money”) that has such a wonderfully efficient effect on the locals. They even have a “bar tent” at the Speedway and actually give away sweet corn during the festivities. Beer and corn – it’s not exactly wine and cheese – but what a culinary combo!

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The hors d’ oeuvres sized “speedway” opened back in 2006 and hosted its first IndyCar race the next year. Retired Indy 500 winner Dario Franchitti – hailing from Scotland he’s used to horrible food – narrowly edged Marco Andretti to win the inaugural Iowa Corn 250. The race has been expanded to 300 laps the last couple of years and we’re thankful for the extra helping of fifty, gladly taking all the mouth watering oval track racing we can get. After all, egg shaped tracks are the meat and potatoes of IndyCar.

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Fontana Race Review: Shut Up And Drive Edition

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After the most compelling IndyCar race in many years Saturday at Auto Club Speedway and before an almost completely empty house several drivers embarrassed themselves by bitching about “pack racing,” going so far as repeatedly calling the race “crazy.” The phrase “pack racing” is the newest pejorative in the sport and was oft used in relation to the MAVTV 500. This gratuitous hurling of abuse was unfair in our eyes, not to mention unhelpful and ungrateful. In fact it was a superb record setting race with a stunning eighty lead changes among fourteen drivers, an American winner and relatively few incidents. After all, no one was killed or even injured other than another of Dale Coyne’s crewman, and with a constant rotation of drivers for the shoestring team that’s par for the course. Listening to some drivers after the race though you’d have thought a massacre had just occurred on national television.

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Graham Rahal gained an amazing eighteen spots to win the race which ended under yellow, leading our pick Tony Kanaan to the line. This occurred after a red flag stoppage of the race to clean up an earlier incident caused by Takuma Sato, which we also predicted. It’s Rahal’s second win and first on an oval track in nine years of racing. He overcame a dangerous incident in his pit when his fueler inexplicably shoved the fuel buckeye back into the car as it dropped off the jack and sped away. The fuel hose broke, spilling fuel everywhere on pit lane and the yellow was soon displayed. Oddly, race control opted to fine and dock Rahal points rather than issue a drive through penalty. The thus far unexplained and controversial call ended up affecting the outcome of the race.

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The ghosts of Dan Wheldon and Las Vegas were even evoked in a truly sad display of professional whining by athletes who are well paid to race closely while side by side and entertain fans. They are not paid to degrade the product or to take a giant dump on a classic display of riveting oval track racing, yet that’s precisely what they did. It was an outrageous display of complaining the likes of which we at IRR have never seen in decades of closely following the sport. 

Indianapolis Motor Speedway and Wrigley Field: Sports Shrines

  Images from Indy Race Reviewer & chicago.cubs.mlb.com

Sui generous. Hallowed ground. Witness to history. Host of legendary greats and unforgettable events. All these phrases and more apply to Indianapolis Motor Speedway, as well as its Midwestern sister stadium Chicago’s Wrigley Field. The over century old venues – IMS was built in 1909 while Wrigley was constructed five years later – stand proudly as symbolic gems from the past while retaining their modern relevance. They’re not mere stadiums, they’re sports shrines.

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That’s truly a rare combination in a time and place where buildings, mountains, monuments and men are routinely torn down to make way for the new. In Chicago and Indy, progress has swirled like a tempest around these landmarks of longevity, yet thankfully they remain standing. Imagine for a minute if there were no IMS and no Wrigley Field. Then recall that it almost happened, as both sacred spaces were slated for demolition at certain points in their history. Interrupted only by the occasional world war or – rarer still – millionaires on strike, IMS and Wrigley have stood witness to hundreds of races and thousands of games. All while the whole world changed around them, then changed again.

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IMS and Wrigley have changed too, yet they always remain somehow the same.

IndyCar News Week in Review: Second Thoughts Edition

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Chevy’s Been Very, Very Naughty: The bow tie brand was slapped with penalties this week for switching out faulty valve springs on their engines following their sweep at St. Pete. Hundreds of points were deducted in the manufacturer’s championship for what amounts to a parts recall. As a result Chevy has negative points after one race despite dominating it. The IndyCar manufacturer’s championship rewards reliability as well as wins and the series requires 2500 miles before “non-minor” changes can be made to the power plants. In this case Chevy took the penalty for the early valve spring change rather than risk engine failure. The points deduction approach makes more sense than last year’s ten grid position penalty, which confused fans and those responsible for reporting the starting order alike.

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Already Aero Kit Updates: In the wake of the St. Pete embarrassment and serious injury to a spectator, IndyCar ordered first Honda and then Chevy to strengthen their flimsy aero kits with still more parts and pieces. Honda’s even strengthening their rear tire guards or “ass pods” in the temporary fix, as well. These remedies will supposedly strengthen the cars, though both drivers and manufacturers have pointed out that they aren’t designed for contact and should be driven accordingly especially with a price tag of $20,000. We’re not overly confident the bumping on the road courses in the IndyCar series is going away anytime soon – or the flying near lethal pieces – but we are glad IndyCar heeded our warning about the danger of the new kits.

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Who Got JR?: Famous 500 wall banger J.R. Hildebrand will drive the third car for CFH Racing in both Indianapolis races in May.

IndyCar Predictions and Prognostications: St. Pete Effete

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From the Latin, effete is usually defined as either “weak,” “soft” or “ineffectual.” Our initial prediction is that the new aero kits will prove to be all of the above. Why beat around the bush? We came right out and said IndyCar aero kits look ugly, silly and new fangled. We forthrightly continue to stand by those views. After all, when you’re right you’re right. Aero kits will allow the mega teams to separate from the pack due to testing, number of cars, resources and the like. Get ready for the opposite of parity and for plentiful Penske celebrations.

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Prediction number two is regarding the overall show in St Pete on Sunday.

NASCAR Visits Vegas: Vegetative Tedium

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The racing again on Sunday was better off without Busch and we fervently hope it remains that way. Frankly we didn’t watch the Las Vegas race except for the last forty or so laps and happily it doesn’t appear as though we missed much. NASCAR‘s version of race killing turbulence called  “aero push” made another appearance at Las Vegas Motor Speedway making passing difficult and watching the race even more so. It’s a real shame IndyCar no longer races at LVMS after the aborted 2011 finale that tragically claimed Dan Wheldon’s life. Unlike NASCAR, which by the way enjoyed a huge crowd Sunday, open wheel cars put on a hell of a show in the desert.

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A predictably tedious NASCAR race, we bet on boring and it turned out to be the smart money. There were a total of five cautions over the four hundred miles, though not in the early going as long stretches of green flag racing and “aero pushing” set the tone. Surprisingly there were no debris cautions or flags at all for that matter late in the race, which Kevin Harvick dominated.

92nd Running of the Indianapolis 500 Mile Race: a Photo Retrospective

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May 25, 2008 was a gorgeous day in Speedway, Indiana with sunshine and a large crowd in attendance for the ninety second running of the Indianapolis 500. As we made our way to our traditional first turn seats in stand B, row Z the sights, sounds and electricity of the Greatest Spectacle in Racing fully lived up to their billing.

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IndyCar 300 at Kansas Speedway, April 27, 2008 in Pictures

It was a raw, windy, chilly day in Kansas, a three hour drive from home.

A good sized crowd attended the race and were not disappointed.

The pit action was furious and directly across from our front stretch seats.

Several cautions kept the field bunched up for close quarters racing.

Two and three wide action was the norm on this day.

The seating at Kansas Speedway allows for views of the entire track.

The humongous American flag is a nice touch.

It wasn’t Team Penske’s day, although they ran strong as usual.

Ed Carpenter’s Menard’s paint scheme was simply gorgeous.

The late Dan Wheldon won the race that day for Target.

Danica: More Diva Than Driver, Part 2

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Danica endured a disappointing 2010 IndyCar season though she remained well lighted under the media klieg lights. The pressure mounted on her to prove that the historic 2008 win at Motegi wasn’t merely a fueling fluke, an accidental outcome as it started to appear. She managed only eight top ten finishes in seventeen races that year, though she did score a couple of podiums at Texas and Homestead along the way. There was nary a win in sight and it’d been nearly three years since her triumph in Japan.

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The same fans, press and admirers who had helped propel her to such dizzying heights of driver-diva fame now demanded more from her, or else the media machine threatened to move on from “Danica-mania” to the next fabricated folksy focal-point of their choosing, say Justin Bieber or Miley Cyrus. Undoubtedly, her star had dimmed over the last couple years as the up and down cycles of big league racing took their toll. That glorious Danica glow already had begun to fade amongst the fans, if not yet amongst her dedicated followers in the press corps.

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By 2011 it was apparent that Danica would be leaving IndyCar and her on track results showed it. Emotionally she’d already moved on that final year in IndyCar, merely going through the motions and acting interested, all the while secretly looking forward to trading up for obscene riches. In one of her worst years in racing she managed only seven top ten finishes in seventeen starts, not counting the Las Vegas finale, which was canceled after Wheldon was tragically killed. Her best finish was fifth at the Milwaukee Mile, but it was her only top five finish all year with a couple of paltry sixth place results at New Hampshire and Baltimore for good measure. She led ten laps at Indy but finished a disappointing tenth in her final appearance to date in the Greatest Spectacle in racing.

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Then in 2012 with the usual amount of hoopla and media fanfare she married into NASCAR and its multi-millions, leaving IndyCar jilted, attention-starved and somewhat stunned at its losses. As Elvis once asked, “Are you lonesome tonight?” The divorce complete, her relationship with suddenly shaky IndyCar was behind her and the desirous diva-driver didn’t look back. Whether or not she actually could drive a hulking stocky behemoth around a racetrack was another matter altogether, as her waifish size and weight were no longer advantageous in her new series.

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If DP’s record of one win in a hundred sixteen IndyCar starts was poor, then her record in NASCAR has been even worse. She’s currently oh for seventy seven and counting, with a best finish of sixth quite recently in Atlanta. She has three top ten finishes so far this year along with two ninth place finishes last year. That’s it in two-plus lengthy – by which we mean seemingly never ending – NASCAR seasons.

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The media hype surrounding the driver-diva remains disproportionate to her performance to this very day, and it’s been that way since she made her debut a decade ago. It’d be another matter if she were a consistent or even sporadic winner, but such effusive media coverage starts to become insulting after so many years without results. Just ask her dumped ex-IndyCar colleagues.

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No other racer with one win in nearly two hundred starts gets a fraction of the attention she does. Clearly, Danica’s far more of a diva than she is a driver. The record – both photographic and otherwise – proves it. The only question is, will the media finally wake up and roll over for a clear eyed, sober morning view of their bodacious bedfellow to acknowledge the obvious fact? We predict no, and that she eventually moves on from NASCAR to fall for her next passionate love interest (media, anyone?), when yet again her utter lack of results will be completely ignored.

Danica: More Diva Than Driver, Part 1

The sometimes salacious, truly tiresome Danica Patrick saga is now over a decade old, lasting from its inception in 2005 to at least the present day. While parts of it haven’t been pretty, other parts certainly were. Danica may not be much of a race car driver, but she’s commendable for making the most of her career through skillful use of her um, assets.

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It’s not that she’s just another pretty face, though. Born in 1982 in Roscoe, Illinois Danica’s raced nearly her entire life. The diminutive thirty two year old has been competing at the big league level for ten years now – all one hundred pounds of her. Between IndyCar and NASCAR, she has nearly two hundred major league racing starts under her belt and exactly one win. The one victory occurred over six years ago in a little noticed late night IndyCar race in a land far, far away. That’s a .52 % career winning percentage in case you’re counting, which obviously is not a very attractive little number.

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Danica burst onto the IndyCar scene in 2005, soaking up the adoring press she generated and turning heads like a wet t-shirt contestant at a tent revival. Her national fame swelled to C-cup proportions at Indianapolis where she made history in leading laps as a rookie. An attractive young female racer who continually gained throngs of new fans and admirers, she also received the ire of competitors who were clearly jealous of the unparalleled media coverage the rookie garnered. Many forget she also led laps at Japan and Chicagoland that year and finished fourth at both Japan and Indianapolis. In a promising inaugural campaign Danica achieved six top ten finishes in sixteen starts, earning Rookie of the Year honors for both the Indy 500 and the season.

Photo from si.com

The speedy siren also landed the Sports Illustrated cover after Indianapolis, further irking the more established and proven drivers in the field. In a televised interview after winning the Indianapolis 500, the late Dan Wheldon absolutely went off on Patrick. Asked about her extensive media exposure and whether it overshadowed his 500 victory, Wheldon unconvincingly told ESPN “I don’t care. Who gives a shit, really? I mean, so it’s SI – right there,  I mean if you were owner of SI, there are thirty three people in the Indianapolis 500, one of ’ems hot and female why wouldn’t you put ’em on the front? You’d be crazy not to, right?” The English racer then added tersely, “I have the self-satisfaction of just winning the biggest race in the world. Fine by me. . . . In ten years down the road, no one’s gonna remember the media attention the fourth place person got.”

Photo from usatoday.com

Danica experienced a bit of a sophomore slump on track the next year – her last with the struggling Rahal Letterman Racing – failing to lead a lap all year but finishing fourth at both Nashville and Milwaukee. The fawning national media treated her as though she were a female AJ Foyt setting the world afire. Danica had eight top ten finishes in only fourteen races that season but didn’t come close to winning. In fresh surroundings she bounced back in 2007 leading four races and landing on the podium three times, finishing second at Detroit and third at both Texas and Nashville. She finished in the top ten an impressive eleven times in seventeen starts and carried momentum into the 2008 season, her fourth in IndyCar and second with her new team Andretti Autosport.

In her fiftieth IndyCar start Danica finally broke through with a victory. The general feeling among many in and around the series was one of relief rather than exhilaration once the facts had finally caught up with the phenomenon. She won the third race of 2008, taking the lead with three laps to go as most of those ahead of her pitted in an otherwise forgettable fuel mileage contest on a mountainside in Motegi, Japan. The few Americans who saw the race thirteen time zones away watched it very late at night and went to bed shocked at the result. She led only the final three laps but prevailed to become the first woman in history to win a major league race on a closed race course. The press attention Danica’s win birthed was unprecedented in its scope for IndyCar, lasting for months and years, easily overshadowing the recent announcement of the end of IndyCar’s version of the Great Schism.

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It seemed all the press’s previous glowing coverage of her was now somehow justified as they congratulated themselves, basking in their role of diva-driver queen-makers. She’d already posed in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue and was arguably the most recognized (or is it over-exposed?) driver in the world, a true celebrity phenomenon by this point in her career. Starring appearances in extremely pricey and widely discussed Super Bowl ads weren’t far off. The win in Japan proved to be the high water mark of her racing career so far however, as she went on that year to lead only one more lap with high finishes of fifth at Nashville and Sonoma, and a total of nine top ten showings in eighteen starts. Her record didn’t get much better over the next  six years, despite what you may have read.

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In 2009 she did respectably well, finishing third at Indy and fourth at Long Beach and turning in five top fives and ten top tens in seventeen races. While she led laps at Texas and Kentucky and showed some consistency, she really wasn’t a threat to win all year. The next year she achieved second place finishes at Texas and Homestead, but managed only eight top ten finishes in seventeen starts including fifth place in Japan.

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By then the rumors of her leaving for NASCAR raged in the press, again irritating many in the Indycar paddock. Apparently some in the series thought they couldn’t live with her and couldn’t live without her. Having learned their lesson, this time around her fellow drivers muted their displeasure with Danica and her departure, generally voicing it off the record rather than publicly through the press as before. Few in the media ever noted her unremarkable record during a seven year IndyCar career and instead stayed on the Danica bandwagon as it swerved toward NASCAR.

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